This first article in a series about being politically savvy in the workplace lays the foundation with a critical concept: how we position ourselves in relationship to a difficult personality in the workplace.
Two Common Errors That Lead to Failure
When faced with the challenge of a difficult personality in our workplace, we tend to go to one extreme or the other:
1. Error #1 – we may try to make the person our friend
2. Error #2 – we see them as an enemy
The truth of the matter is that they may never be a friend. Our attempts to play nice may, in fact, open us up to more abuse as we mistakenly share confidences or leave the impression that we are weak.
Likewise, if we err on the side of labeling them as an enemy, this sets the stage for a combative perspective that escalates the problem.
The Winning Middle
Everyone knows that acid can be destructive. The term that is used to describe the damaging power of an acid is “caustic.” I’m sure you recognize immediately that the same term is sometimes applied to a difficult person. If you remember your high school chemistry, you know you can neutralize an acid by adding the right amount of a base chemical. When the correct amount of a base is added to the acid, the result is usually a gas (that dissipates) and water (which is harmless). That’s what we want to do to offset the destructive behavior of caustic personalities in the workplace.
If we think of the problem person as a toxic personality, then what we need is an approach that neutralizes their poison. We need to neutralize, not make them a friend or fight with them as an enemy. We tend to think either-or instead of other options so this takes a bit of mental discipline to retrain your thinking away from the extremes of being a friend or an enemy. We just want to shut down their destructive behavior toward us–to neutralize them.
Strategies to Neutralize Toxic Behaviors
In the articles that follow we’ll look at specific strategies for neutralizing a toxic person’s bad behaviors. But for now, begin to examine the specific behaviors of a toxic co-worker and think about how you could offset it with a specific strategy.
Some of the strategies we will be examining can have an effect relatively quickly while others will take time. Patience is necessary to gain politically savvy skills so hang in there.
by Richard Porr, PhD
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