dictionary.com defines a bureaucracy as:

1.     government by many bureaus, administrators, and petty officials.
2.     the body of officials and administrators, esp. of a government or government department.
3.     excessive multiplication of, and concentration of power in, administrative bureaus or administrators.
4.     administration characterized by excessive red tape and routine.

Definitions one and two are relatively benign. Each speaks to the structure with no pejorative overtones (unless you want to attach special meaning to the word “petty” in the first definition).

Both of these definitions, to some degree, make the point that bureaucracy can be neutral in a similar fashion as the concept and application of politics. But without jucicious and ethical scheming, the bastards, SOBs and assholes get in there and turn a bureaucracy intended to make things work better into their own playground of power and privilege.

The final two definitions better express how bureaucracies usually work (e.g., Dilbert-ville). The key word in each of these two definitions is “excessive.” Oh, how we’ve all been beat down by useless tasks that are excessive. These bureaucratic burdens dehumanize us all and only serve to justify the air that asshole administrators breathe. They are incapable of creating and producing testimonials to their contributions to the organization so they create reports (i.e. “TPS Reports”), policies, and protocols to try to justify their existence.

THEY ARE PARASITES!

And, according to researcher and author, Robert Sutton–The No Asshole Rule–they cost organizations untold tens of thousands of dollars as good people leave to escape the oppression and new hires are trained at the edge of the revolving door that will serve as their escape and the entrance for the next crop of unknowing victims. The parasitic managers and bosses care nothing for their employees, their families, and the customers or consumers but only for themselves. They are willing to go to any lengths to protect themselves and bolster up the illusion of their own greatness.

Sutton first submitted his work to the Harvard Business Review. He was certain they would reject his research based upon his inclusion of the word “Asshole.” However, he had found in the course of interviewing many employees that no other word so clearly allowed his subjects to identify the precise kind of individual he was studying–the asshole. To his surprise, the publisher accepted his word use and published the article. Sutton then went on to publish his work as a full book. Check it out on Amazon and purchase a few to distribute around the periphery of the personal asshole in your workspace.

You already know who they are, but Sutton helps solidify their identification by describing their actions as “suck up and slap down.” There! Somone comes to mind, don’t they. They act completely different in the presence of their superiors (which they don’t realize is almost everyone) than they do with subordinates. Ever been slapped?

Now my particular workplace asshole also has the annoying practice of giving me dangerous directions verbally but requiring me to have hard copy proof of directives if anything goes wrong.

He undermines any authority other than his own positional authority and especially ignores or attacks authority based upon expertise he does not have. When he wanders into an area of any depth where his ignorance is sure to be unmasked, he states, “That’s just details; we need to look at the big picture.” Of course, it is his big picture, with no basis in the details that provide the foundation and guidance for the contruction of an accurate big picture.

Assholes are parasitic bureaucrats who suck the life and enjoyment out of everyone around them and, if left to their own evil devices, will greatly contribute to the erosion of quality and eventual failure of any organization.

The only hope for ousting a parasitic bureacrat, in my opinion, lies in one of the following:

1.  Their own lack of a moral compass will eventually beach them on the rocks

2.  The truth, spoken bravely by an employee or stakeholder with some credibility can awaken others to the evil of the parasite

3.  An impressive list of quality employees who fall on their swords and leave

Sad, isn’t it?

This fifth article in the series about being politically savvy in the workplace builds upon the foundational insights of the prior four articles:

Office Politics I addressed the issue of neutralizing a toxic person at your workplace instead of committing either of the two fatal errors of trying to make them a friend or treating them like an enemy. Instead, we want to neutralize their toxic affect upon the work environment.

Office Politics II showed you how to use public displays of camaraderie to neutralize the “behind your back” toxic communications.

Office Politics III suggested you use “Judo Words” to change the rules of the engagement, to neutralize your opponent by redirecting their negative attack instead of escalating the problem–a powerful concept!

Office Politics IV advised you to hesitate before you entered a battle that was not worth waging and to stay neutral in the midst of controversies that are full of drama but signify nothing.

This article looks at another technique for neutralizing a dangerous colleague in the workplace. This technique offers the possibility of once and for all turning that toxic co-worker into someone who no longer has you in their sites. They may never become your best friend but they will have chosen to drop you off the enemy list because of what I’m suggesting you consider.

Although this is not a very catchy label, I call this approach “Watch and Sacrifice.

The Watch Part

Everybody messes up! I know i have and I bet you have too. Toxic people are unhappy people. And, try as they might to remain superior to all of their co-workers, they actually mess up a lot for several reasons:

• They cannot relax and go with the flow so they resist the natural evolution of ideas and projects and often find themselves crosswise with new developments in the workplace
• They are often distracted by their problems, which are many, and miss critical details
• They do not have friends who warn them of impending danger
• They do not have friends who help them develop ideas and add the components that would make their plans golden

So, if you’re watching, you will find them get into a bind. They will need help but the people around them who might rush into offer assistance will suddenly disappear and leave them stranded with their crisis.

Before I expand on the other part of this approach, allow me to tell you how I learned this simple and possibly painful technique for neutralizing a toxic co-worker.

Working for the County

At one point in my multifaceted career, I was a statistician in charge of mass reappraisal of a county with a population of 1.5 million. That translates into a lot of homes and a lot of responsibility. I’ve always been well liked on any job with the occasional exception of a toxic co-worker who did not like anyone and let their feelings be know–over and over again. There was one such person at the county and she graciously included me in her broad smear campaign of anyone walking and breathing.

I took it as a challenge. As I thought about her and watched how she related to her colleagues (not with), it was easy to she that she didn’t have any work friends. You know what work friends are, don’t you? They don’t follow you home or go out for a drink after work but you have a good and maybe even warm relationship while at work. She didn’t have any of those. People related with her no more than they needed to.

As I searched for an approach I could use to neutralize her so she wouldn’t act so nasty toward me and would quit sniping at me behind my back, I happened to hear someone away from work quote a Bible scripture. The verse was the one where Jesus charged his disciples to “Watch and pray.” That stuck with me. But I changed it to “Watch and Sacrifice.”

I knew the day would come when the toxic one among us would need help. It didn’t take long. Sure enough, in the middle of a Friday afternoon while many county workers were slipping away for an early weekend, the watching paid off. I saw our supervisor drop off a mountain of paperwork on her desk and heard him tell her she had to complete it before she left. I heard her complain to a co-worker that today was her son’s birthday and she had plans for the afternoon and evening. But everyone around her disappeared and left her alone. With her head down and near tears, she would have been a pitiful character except it was very hard to feel any compassion for someone who consistently caused everyone around her a great deal of pain.

The Sacrifice Part

This is the hard part. This is the very hard part.

To return to my story, I casually walked over and asked what was up. She wiped her eyes and explained all the work she had to do and all about her obligation with her son. I volunteered to stay and help her get the work done. She almost fainted. She couldn’t believe someone would do that for her. You see, people like her know in some deep part of their heart that they don’t deserve kindness and help because of how they have been treating everyone. And that’s one of the reasons they act the way they do. So I stayed until six o’clock or so and helped her finish. She still had most of the evening left and ran off to a birthday outing at a pizza place. I went home to a warmed over dinner.

Now when you think about this, can you imagine how difficult it would be for her to think of me in the same way again or to treat me badly? Difficult, but not likely. And she never did talk against me after that point. We did not become friends and never related beyond acknowledging each other as we passed in the hallway. But she was neutralized through watching and sacrificing.

In Summary

This approach is very difficult to pull off. Every fiber of our being wants to gloat and say, “Good enough for them.” But that just reinforces the enmity and does not neutralize the threat to a wholesome workplace climate. If you are like me, you don’t have the emotional energy to pull this one off very many times so choose your rescues wisely.

Good luck on using this technique and be sure to read the other articles in this series.

This third article in this series about being politically savvy in the workplace builds upon the foundational insights of the prior two articles.

Office Politics I addressed the issue of neutralizing a toxic person at your workplace instead of committing either of the two fatal errors of trying to make them a friend or treating them like an enemy. Instead, we want to neutralize their toxic effect upon the work environment.

Office Politics II showed you how to use public displays of camaraderie to neutralize “behind your back” toxic communications.

This article looks at another technique for neutralizing a dangerous colleague in the workplace.

Judo and Karate

I’m not very good at either but have had lessons and advanced a ways into the rainbow of belts in both judo and karate. I know enough to really make a dangerous opponent even madder at me than they were before. But I did learn a fundamental difference between the two martial arts.

Karate involves a lot of blocks, punches and hits. Its fundamental nature is one of direct confrontation. An arm is thrown up to strike and block a blow. A kick releases the terrific power of leg muscles directly at a point of contact with the opponent. Again, karate is essentially direct blows.

Judo, on the other hand, uses the forward momentum of the opponent against them. Their charge towards you is gracefully turned into a sweeping curve that redirects their force in another direction and causes them to fall or be off balance. Let’s look at how this can play out in the almost martial setting of office politics.

Judo Words Instead of Karate Confrontation

We want to learn to use these ideas to avoid direct confrontation with the toxic words of our nastiest colleagues and redirect their forceful communications away and use it against them.

This is an article, not a book, so I’m going to focus on one practical example of how to apply this concept. Are you ready?

Application: Erase the word “but” from your vocabulary and replace it with “yes.”

I remember when a co-worker and friend of mine finally figured out I was doing this. An angry customer or co-worker would try to attack me and by the end of the encounter they were agreeing with me and smiling. My friend was amazed and couldn’t figure out what I was doing for a long time. After one rather heated beginning with the same collegial outcome, he rushed over to me with a big smile on his face.

“I got you,” he said. “You never confronted them with the word ‘but’ as I and almost everyone would do in our attempt to defend ourselves. Instead, you said, ‘and’ and totally took the wind out of their sails.”

He was right. After I began my first sentence with “and,” I would restate what they had said, reinforcing points I could agree with. As I talked, I would slowly move the conversation to where I wanted it. The force of their anger was redirected, diffused and their attack ended up being used against them.

Why This Works So Well

One of the reasons this works so well is that their mental rehearsal, their planning for this confrontation, has been dependent upon a confrontation. They have planned for karate blows back and forth with them as the bigger and stronger opponent. The switch to a different form (judo instead of karate) throws them off their plan and stops the attack. They literally don’t know what to do next.

I believe what happens is that they are momentarily stopped and don’t know what to do or say. At that point of vulnerability, they hear me (or you) agreeing with them. Their awkwardness is relieved by agreeing with me agreeing with them. Therefore, the entire dynamics have changed with one critical difference–I’m in control!

There are other judo words. Experiment, find and use them. They are more subtle than karate words but oh, so much more powerful.

This leads us to the next article in this series, “Even Hitler Needed a Friend.” You might see this one as a little slimy but sometimes you do what you’ve got to do.

I hope you enjoyed this tip. Now get out there and do your share of neutralizing the acidity and have fun while you’re at it.

This second article in a series about being politically savvy in the workplace builds upon the foundational insight of neutralizing a toxic person at your workplace instead of committing either of the two fatal errors of trying to make them a friend or treating them like an enemy. Instead, we want to neutralize their toxic affect upon the work environment.

A Short Story

When I was first hired at a large institution that was very political in nature, I learned early on that there was a network of administrative assistants that kept the phone wires hot with gossip. I also quickly learned (through observation and listening) that if one got on the wrong side of the most influential of those assistants, you could expect a lot of problems with the routing of paperwork, having your messages forwarded, getting your call to go through to their bosses, etc. The leaders of this sub rosa network were hyper critical of almost everyone. I could see that if I got on the wrong side of this internal mafia it might be very difficult to turn this around. So, below is what I did to neutralize their toxicity.

The Power of a Public Expression

I listened and studied the network to identify the ringleaders. The work of the institution was carried out in many buildings spread out across a large campus. I discovered that two of the administrative assistants were the most influential. If they liked you, all went very well, indeed. If they did not like you, you paid a hefty price. You get the picture. So I made it a point to make the rounds of the offices of several of the administrative assistants at least once, if not twice, a week. I made very sure to include the two leaders on each trip. I timed it so that I touched base with the two human producers of toxic waste during a time when many co-workers would be hanging out in the office or passing through. I listened and also asked questions to learn what was going on in each of their lives and what was important to them. That was my goal for the first couple of trips. For all subsequent trips, I made sure to inquire about the things but only when their was a decent sized audience there to hear the interchange. Allow me to give you an example and then share about how powerful this is and why it works.

An Example

I remember one administrative assistant’s six year old was just starting out in T-ball. I listened and mentally made a note about her concerns about her son’s performance, how much they were looking forward to going to the games, where the games were, their plans to bring treats for the team when it was their turn, etc. I especially made a note that the first game was to be the next Tuesday evening. Guess where I was on Wednesday?

I made it a point to be in that office shortly before noon time when many of my co-workers, including her immediate supervisor, where in the outer office where the toxic assistant was. I made sure I spoke in a respectful, upbeat, and a little bit excited tone as I smiled and asked about how the game went. Of course, she was thrilled with an opportunity to talk about Johnny’s first time at bat. I followed up with more questions about the game, each one based upon what I had learned earlier about her concerns or things she was looking forward to. Note that all around her heard this interchange.

I continued this pattern with the two toxic administrative assistants for the better part of several months, visiting them at least once a week and always at a time when others would be around. If you haven’t seen the power of this yet, let me pull back the curtain and explain.

Why This Works So Well

It is the public component of this that gives it its power. Imagine what an observer sees. They see me smiling and excited about something of a personal nature in the assistant’s life. Surely I know to ask about something personal because she and I have a friendly relationship, one in which she has already been open with me and has included me in her confidence. They see her responding positively to my questions and looking happy with the topic of conversation. Nothing toxic here! As this happens over and over again, it creates an obstacle of a positive public perception of our relationship that makes it difficult for her to sabotage without also making her look like a back stabber. She has unwittingly allied herself with me publicly, over and over again. It becomes much easier for her to release her venom in some other direction.

Hope you enjoyed this tip. Now get out there and do your share of neutralizing the acidity and have fun while you’re at it.

This leads us to the next article in this series, “Even Hitler Needed a Friend.” I think you will enjoy this somewhat devious but often necessary perspective on how to neutralize a toxic person.

By Richard Porr, Ph.D.

This first article in a series about being politically savvy in the workplace lays the foundation with a critical concept: how we position ourselves in relationship to a difficult personality in the workplace.

Two Common Errors That Lead to Failure

When faced with the challenge of a difficult personality in our workplace, we tend to go to one extreme or the other:

1. Error #1 - we may try to make the person our friend

2. Error #2 - we see them as an enemy

The truth of the matter is that they may never be a friend. Our attempts to play nice may, in fact, open us up to more abuse as we mistakenly share confidences or leave the impression that we are weak.

Likewise, if we err on the side of labeling them as an enemy, this sets the stage for a combative perspective that escalates the problem.

The Winning Middle

Everyone knows that acid can be destructive. The term that is used to describe the damaging power of an acid is “caustic.” I’m sure you recognize immediately that the same term is sometimes applied to a difficult person. If you remember your high school chemistry, you know you can neutralize an acid by adding the right amount of a base chemical. When the correct amount of a base is added to the acid, the result is usually a gas (that dissipates) and water (which is harmless). That’s what we want to do to offset the destructive behavior of caustic personalities in the workplace.

If we think of the problem person as a toxic personality, then what we need is an approach that neutralizes their poison. We need to neutralize, not make them a friend or fight with them as an enemy. We tend to think either-or instead of other options so this takes a bit of mental discipline to retrain your thinking away from the extremes of being a friend or an enemy. We just want to shut down their destructive behavior toward us–to neutralize them.

Strategies to Neutralize Toxic Behaviors

In the articles that follow we’ll look at specific strategies for neutralizing a toxic person’s bad behaviors. But for now, begin to examine the specific behaviors of a toxic co-worker and think about how you could offset it with a specific strategy.

Some of the strategies we will be examining can have an effect relatively quickly while others will take time. Patience is necessary to gain politically savvy skills so hang in there.

by Richard Porr, PhD

I seriously doubt if you have a BUFFALO NICKEL in your pocket, so look at the two sides of the coin in the picture below:

Each image is related and connected to the other, but each is distinct from the other. After all, the Native American depicted on the nickel was a human, a member of a class of the most successful naturalists of all time. In fact, one of the adjectives sometimes used to describe Native Americans such as the one depicted is “noble.” The buffalo however, is a beast, not self-aware like the Native American. In fact, the buffalo was the prey of the Native Americans and was used to provide everything from food to clothing to utensils.

On a single BUFFALO NICKEL we find these related but different symbols residing as two sides of the same coin. The truth captured by this metaphor applies to you and to everyone you meet. It’s so easy to see only one side of anyone with whom we come in contact. We tend to quickly categorize people into one slot or another and fail to see the complexity that makes up each individual. We see only one side of the coin. When eventually—and inevitably—the other side of the coin appears, we are surprised and may react inappropriately. We may feel we’ve been betrayed when the coin flips and we see the other side. However, like the BUFFALO NICKEL, everyone has both assets and liabilities. They have talents, disposition, and skills that are wonderful and are easily appreciated. Moreover, with each asset comes the companion, connected liability.

Assets and Liabilities are Connected

Do you like the way that colleague is quiet and respectful, never contributing to problems in the workplace? The other side of the coin may be a worker who is passive and non-productive or who feels helpless in the face of professional challenges. It’s unethical to accept the quiet, cooperative behavior and not delve deeper to see if there is another side to this person that needs to be encouraged or developed so they may be successful.

How about the colleague who is always interrupting, always trying to wreck the presentation or brainstorming session? Could it be that this person is one of the more intellectually gifted colleagues in your company but is bored and not sufficiently challenged? If you classify that person’s behavior as rebellious (or, more politely, as disruptive) you may overlook positive attributes that can be recognized and nurtured. In fact, if you identify and nurture the other side of the coin, the disagreeable and non-productive behaviors may disappear.

Like the aggressive way in which that colleague volunteers and takes charge of projects? They may also be demanding and not easily accept your explanation of things or your leadership. It’s unfair to embrace the obverse without recognizing you also get the other side of the coin. They cannot be separated from each other.

In Summary: How This Relates to Leadership

Leaders who put forth the effort to think deeply about their workers so as to recognize and nurture their assets and–at least temporarily–ignore their liabilities, may find the positive traits and behaviors grow and finally overshadow diminishing negative behaviors.

by Dr. Richard Porr
richporr

copyright  © 2009

One of the most stimulating and perceptive things I’ve read in some time is the “12 Rules of Survival” by Laurence Gonzales on his web site, deepsurvival.com

The author’s introduction reads:

“As a journalist, I’ve been writing about accidents for more than thirty years. In the last 15 or so years, I’ve concentrated on accidents in outdoor recreation, in an effort to understand who lives, who dies, and why. To my surprise, I found an eerie uniformity in the way people survive seemingly impossible circumstances. Decades and sometimes centuries apart, separated by culture, geography, race, language, and tradition, the most successful survivors–those who practice what I call “deep survival”–go through the same patterns of thought and behavior, the same transformation and spiritual discovery, in the course of keeping themselves alive. Not only that but it doesn’t seem to matter whether they are surviving being lost in the wilderness or battling cancer, whether they’re struggling through divorce or facing a business catastrophe–the strategies remain the same.”

He’s onto something. His insights have been used in training by Navy SEALS, firefighters, police, and others to study the science and art of survival.

As a teaser, here are the titles of the first three rules:

1. Perceive and Believe
2. Stay Calm–Use Your Anger
3. Think, Analyze, and Plan

The author elaborates on each rule and gives examples that illustrate his points.

Okay, another one. As you might imagine, number 12 is “Never Give Up.”

So, head on over there and check it out because sometimes, it’s SURVIVAL FIRST, THEN EXCELLENCE!

Four of these are not so unique to me; you’ll find entire books written concerning the first four. They are:

1. Decision - all movement begins with a decision. When Jesus said, “Is it not written in your law, I said, Ye are gods?” I believe he was referring to the God-given POWER to make a decision. Decisions create paths we can then choose to walk down. A decision to get up from where we are and walk into a new life borders on the supernatural and is the beginning of all success. However, one step does not take us to the end. We need to follow through with the next critical element for success.
2. Focus - focus gives a decision legs and drives us forward to follow through with the first step, second and third steps to begin to carry us into the new life we have made a decision to pursue. In the same way that anyone has within their power the ability to make a decision, we all have the power to focus our attention, energy, emotions and efforts on our direction and movement toward the fulfillment of our decision-initiated dreams. But, we have to keep keeping on.
3. Belief - without strong belief in ourselves, in our calling and direction, we will not be able to maintain focus. Beliefs can be changed. Those that are simply accumulated from others and are not our own must be examined and possibly discarded in favor of core beliefs–the things we REALLY believe in.
4. Perseverance - focus must be maintained and strengthened by belief as we keep laying down one step after the other, even when it seems the goal will never be reached and we we want to quit. Very good books and very inspirational stories have been written to illustrate that we must not quit too early, if ever at all.

Those are the four critical elements for success, ones that are not so unique. You’ve probably thought about or read about each of those in many different formats before. But I believe there is a fifth element that is just as important. This one determines if we make it all the way to our destination or not.

5.  Submission - Eeeewwww! What an ugly word and one that is heavy with baggage from diverse interpretations and connotations. This is what I mean when I include submission as a critical element for success.

You can only get so far by yourself and for yourself. You might have even made significant progress toward your destination, but there comes a barrier that prohibits your forward progress and limits you. That barrier is submission. Can you put yourself aside for others? Can you submit to a higher purpose or a greater good than your own goals and rewards? Can you humble yourself to pray or to ask for help and guidance from a family member, friend, or professional colleague? If not, you will be forever limited, my friend.

If you thought decision, focus, belief, and perseverance were difficult, submission is far more difficult for many people, especially the kind of people who make BIG decisions and want to accomplish great things. They are often independent thinkers and stubborn souls. To yield is the way of winning all the way to the finish line.

Although this is a brief treatment of these five critical elements, I sincerely hope they have helped you as you construct your blueprint for success—your Plan for Progress.

I wish you well!

by Dr. Richard Porr

richporr

Copyright © 2009 PlanforProgress.com

long before it gets that bad, it’s still bad! Stress reduces our ability to think creatively and often contributes to hasty decisions that we pay for later. At the most elemental level, stress is a thief that can, if allowed, rob us of enjoying life moment by moment. Kind of like this video . . .

Information Overload Syndrome?

So . . . like so many other things that come our way daily, stress must be managed.

Okay . . . This Works!

I’d like to use this posting to share a strategy that I’ve found to be very effective in taming the lion of stress–bearding it, as it were.

I learned to apply this technique when I was in the middle of that desert of lost hope called a doctoral dissertation. I had chosen a research methodology called “grounded theory.” This method could best be likened to pulling in everything you can find out about your research topic and then plowing through all of it hoping to find the pony. If something doesn’t come up out of the muck—and your continued appointment as a professor depends upon it—you’re out on the streets. I had to face the lion of fear and hopelessness or stay curled up in the mental fetal position I often found myself in and be out on the sreets shortly.

Enough verbiage! Here is the technique.

I talked to the fear that kept knocking on the door of my mind as if it were a living creature. It sure felt as if it was real because it kept talking to me saying things like, “You’re a loser; you’re never going to get this done” and “You’re going to lose your job.” Although it was very difficult to ignore such convincing and oh so helpful encouragements that echoed through my mind, I fought back.

When I would hear the knock at the door of my mind with the temptation to be paralyzed with fear, I would speak to it the following statements:

Image via Wikipedia

1.  I will not give you a minute’s attention.

2.  I will not open the door.

3.  I will not invite you in.

4.  I will certainly not sit down with you on the sofa and carry on a conversation with you.

5. I WILL ignore you and turn my attention to things that make progress.

Whew! I could not believe how hard this was to do the first few times I DISCIPLINED myself to manage this stress and keep the lion away! Every bit of our nature wants to dwell on the negative–to have a relationship with failure–but we have to deny that very strong pull!

Since then, long after my dissertation was completed and successfully defended, I’ve had to manage stress and resist the temptation to carry on a warm relationship with fear, doubt, and insecurities many times by using this same technique.

Try it the next time something is threatening to overwhelm you. It works best if you speak out loud but, of course, you also have to manage the possible perception on the part of your co-workers that you might be stark, raving mad.

P.S. - in addition to the somewhat metaphysical approach above, I also have incorporated breathing techniques into my multi-faceted approach to managing stress. Hey, the stress comes at me from all sides, why not attack it with many strategies? If you’d like to learn more, here is the link to what I use to lower my blood pressure.

by Dr. Richard Porr

richporr

Copyright © 2009 PlanforProgress.com

So many people in the U.S. are unhappy in their jobs. They drag themselves to work on Monday and all week look forward to Friday and the weekend. Perhaps you’re one of them. If so, I suspect that off and on (maybe daily) you’ve wondered if there is something else you could do—that dream job that a few fortunate people find. You know the one. It’s the job that doesn’t feel like work. The one where someone has to tell you to go home because you’re having so much fun and don’t want to leave. I don’t claim to have all the answers, but would like to share three things that come from Dan Miller’s book, 48 Days to the Work You Love that might help—they helped me a great deal.

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There are a few articles devoted to reviewing the book so I won’t go into detail except to revisit one very important and powerful insight. Dan makes the case that there is a profound difference among three related aspects of our work. Our calling is our motivation, the thing we were meant to do that is closely related to who we are. This is the thing that flows out of us no matter what kind of occupation we are engaged in. For example, I have a gift or a calling of teaching. And, although I’ve worked in many jobs and professions, I always ended up teaching in one manner or another. Next, Dan calls our attention to our career. Your career is the broad field of work you have chosen to express your calling in. In my case, it is higher education. I’ve had a calling of teaching since I was very young but have expressed that through several different careers. Right now it is primarily higher education but I’m actively working on transitioning to another expression of my calling–another career!

Finally, Dan writes about our job, that specific thing we do within our career. For me, that is the specific department and role I work within in one specific university. The differences among these three helped me begin the process to change careers in such a way that I could continue to express my calling while I manage the change processes. Hope that helps you as well.

Second, I’m convinced we move through seasons in our lives. Again, it can help us manage the movement toward a new career if we understand this. For example, I was very comfortable teaching high school mathematics when I was a lot  younger but moved into a season where I needed to grow outside of that job and career. Although I settled into several careers after that, I’m once again at the transition from one season to another. It helps to understand the concept of life seasons and cooperate with and manage the change instead of fighting it.

Image by AFP/Getty Images via Daylife

Third, and last, I’ve found that as I’ve moved through this transition phase several times in my life now, the process is a lot like circling around the edge of a black hole. Give me a minute and I’ll try to make some sense out of this analogy.

Now, no one wants to get sucked into a black hole. As you struggle with the job you hate, you may feel as if you are circling the event horizon of a black hole. You’re at that edge where you could go either way. You could get sucked into the hole and demolished or you could escape to the freedom beyond the black hole. You fight the pull into the drudgery and depression of the hole and yearn to escape. The problem is, you can’t just escape from, you have to be able to escape to. You can’t walk away from an income and your responsibilities just because you don’t like the hole.  Without a direction, it’s hard to escape a black hole. But you keep hoping and wishing and turn as much attention as possible “out there,” always looking away from the black hole and wishing to escape. But black holes may not be so bad.

In fact, there is some theoretical support for the belief that black holes are portals into other universes (e.g., the worm holes in Deep Space Nine and other Star Trek universes). How ironic that the way of escape into a new universe may be through that which we are sick of and wish to get away from. And that’s how it has worked for me as a pattern of change from one season to the next.

I circle around the black hole (current career and job) but too often look only to “outer space” where I think my future lies. I pine and daydream about flitting off to other galaxies and finding planets full of happiness away from the black hole. I circle around and around at the event horizon, never seeming to get any farther away from the hole. As I circle and look outward, I can’t seem to see where to go, can’t find a destination “out there.” However, on some of those passes, I begin to see the familiar things that are intricate parts of this existence in different ways. The things I already do, some of which I love to do, begin to get hooked up with other things that I’ve come across on this career or job. As I glance back at the hole and begin to look at things differently, in new combinations and with fresh additions, I end up diving deeper into the very core of what I’ve wanted to escape because the familiar has merged with new insights and become fresh and exciting, no longer what it once was.  I begin to see a new way to express my calling and pop through this career and job into a new life on the other side. Kind of a strange idea, but I’ve not only seen this happen before, it’s happening to me right now.

That’s it. I’ve tried to point you to an outstanding book and then two off-the-wall kinds of thoughts that have helped me. Hope you find your way through and into the work you love.