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	<title>Plan for Progress &#187; Office Politics</title>
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		<title>Article: Bridge the Generation Gap</title>
		<link>http://planforprogress.com/article-bridge-the-generation-gap/</link>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 09 Mar 2011 19:48:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[I like this article on www.electronicnotepad.org: &#8220;Bridge the Generation Gap with an Electronic Notepad&#8221; It cites a Lexis/Nexus study that clearly shows a technology gap among Gen Y, Gen X and Baby Boomers concerning &#8220;polite&#8221; use of technology and acceptable &#8230; <a href="http://planforprogress.com/article-bridge-the-generation-gap/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.electronicnotepad.org"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-225" style="border-style: none;" title="bridge" src="http://planforprogress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/bridge2sm-300x225.jpg" alt="electronicnotepad.org" width="300" height="225" /></a></p>
<p>I like this article on <a href="http://www.electronicnotepad.org">www.electronicnotepad.org</a>:</p>
<p><a href="http://electronicnotepad.org/bridge-the-generation-gap/">&#8220;Bridge the Generation Gap with an Electronic Notepad&#8221;</a></p>
<p>It cites a Lexis/Nexus study that clearly shows a technology gap among Gen Y, Gen X and Baby Boomers concerning &#8220;polite&#8221; use of technology and acceptable use in the workplace. For example, many Baby Boomers thought it unacceptable to use electronic devices during meetings. However, those of us who think of technology as another set of productivity tools think nothing of creating digital notes on the fly.</p>
<p>The article highlights the gaps and suggests a particular approach that I like a lot.</p>
<p>Check it out <a href="http://electronicnotepad.org/bridge-the-generation-gap/">here</a>.</p>
<p>-Rich</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>“Failure is Not an Option” is NOT Leadership</title>
		<link>http://planforprogress.com/failure-is-not-an-option-is-not-leadership/</link>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 15 Sep 2010 01:06:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>rich</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[bad leadership]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[It seems to be popular these days to wave the banner that reads, &#8220;Failure is Not an Option!&#8221; Failure might not be an option from the viewpoint of middle managers and upper administration, but it has always been an option &#8230; <a href="http://planforprogress.com/failure-is-not-an-option-is-not-leadership/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It seems to be popular these days to wave the banner that reads, &#8220;Failure is Not an Option!&#8221; Failure might not be an option from the viewpoint of middle managers and upper administration, but it has always been an option of the working class and workers who are fed up with the status quo.</p>
<p>Failure is not only an option, it has been the option of choice for many workers throughout time immemorial. Workers who have no power and no say into their working conditions have historically exercised the only remaining option: failure to meet management goals through work slow downs, breakage and loss of materials, and sabotage. I can remember reading a journal of a slave owner prior to the Civil War and was amazed at his lament that he could not understand why his slaves were so stupid and clumsy. He thought them stupid because they had a great deal of difficulty in understanding the simplest of directions so he could realize the best possible harvest. He thought them clumsy because they kept breaking things. That&#8217;s management for you&#8211;at least the worst of them.</p>
<p>It is also interesting that the worker has to put forth a superhuman effort to satisfy the clarion call of &#8220;failure is not an option&#8221; since we only hear this mandate when it is very likely that we will fail. But the only obligation on the heartless manager is to issue the charge. That, dear reader, is management at its worst. Instead of seeing minor failures as part of a learning and improvement system, we&#8217;re hit with &#8220;failure is not an option.&#8221; Instead of a qualified, experienced, and caring leader who works with employees to guide, support, and add solutions, poor managers hit us with the slogan. Bah!</p>
<p>As you can probably tell, I&#8217;ve been on the receiving end of the &#8220;failure is not an option&#8221; meanness. I guess it is a matter of perspective. The poor manager who will never be a leader hears, &#8220;failure is not an option&#8211;I&#8217;m leading through strength.&#8221; That&#8217;s not quite what the rest of us hear.</p>
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		<title>Parasitic Bureaucracy</title>
		<link>http://planforprogress.com/parasitic-bureaucracy/</link>
		<comments>http://planforprogress.com/parasitic-bureaucracy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 06 Feb 2010 19:08:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>rich</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Office Musings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Office Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[assholes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bad leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bureaucracy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parasites]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://planforprogress.com/?p=98</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; Dictionary.com defines a bureaucracy as: 1. &#160;&#160; &#160;government by many bureaus, administrators, and petty officials. 2. &#160;&#160; &#160;the body of officials and administrators, esp. of a government or government department. 3. &#160;&#160; &#160;excessive multiplication of, and concentration of power &#8230; <a href="http://planforprogress.com/parasitic-bureaucracy/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
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<h3><span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 205);">Dictionary.com defines a bureaucracy as:</span></span></h3>
<blockquote>
<p style="text-align: left;">1. &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;government by many bureaus, administrators, and petty officials.<br />
		2. &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;the body of officials and administrators, esp. of a government or government department.<br />
		3. &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;excessive multiplication of, and concentration of power in, administrative bureaus or administrators.<br />
		4. &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;administration characterized by excessive red tape and routine.</p>
</blockquote>
<p style="text-align: left;">Definitions one and two are relatively benign. Each speaks to the structure with no pejorative overtones (unless you want to attach special meaning to the word &quot;petty&quot; in the first definition).</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Both of these definitions, to some degree, make the point that bureaucracy can be neutral in a similar fashion as the concept and application of politics. But without judicious and ethical scheming, the bastards, SOBs and assholes get in there and turn a bureaucracy intended to make things work better into their own playground of power and privilege.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">The final two definitions better express how bureaucracies usually work (e.g., Dilbert-ville). The key word in each of these two definitions is &quot;excessive.&quot; Oh, how we&#39;ve all been beat down by useless tasks that are excessive. These bureaucratic burdens dehumanize us all and only serve to justify the air that asshole administrators breathe. They are incapable of creating and producing testimonials to their contributions to the organization so they create reports (i.e. &quot;TPS Reports&quot;), policies, and protocols to try to justify their existence.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>THEY ARE PARASITES!</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">And, according to researcher and author, Robert Sutton&#8211;<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0446698202?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=planforprog-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=0446698202">The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn&#39;t</a>&#8211;they cost organizations untold tens of thousands of dollars as good people leave to escape the oppression and new hires are trained at the edge of the revolving door that will serve as their escape and the entrance for the next crop of unknowing victims. The parasitic managers and bosses care nothing for their employees, their families, and the customers or consumers but only for themselves. They are willing to go to any lengths to protect themselves and bolster up the illusion of their own greatness.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Sutton first submitted his work to the Harvard Business Review. He was certain they would reject his research based upon his inclusion of the word &quot;Asshole.&quot; However, he had found in the course of interviewing many employees that no other word so clearly allowed his subjects to identify the precise kind of individual he was studying&#8211;the asshole. To his surprise, the publisher accepted his word use and published the article. Sutton then went on to publish his work as a full book. Check it out on Amazon and purchase a few to distribute around the periphery of the personal asshole in your workspace.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">You already know who they are, but Sutton helps solidify their identification by describing their actions as &quot;<span style="color: #b22222;"><strong>suck up and slap down</strong></span>.&quot; There! Somone comes to mind, don&#39;t they. They act completely different in the presence of their superiors (which they don&#39;t realize is almost everyone) than they do with subordinates. Ever been slapped?</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Now my particular workplace asshole also had the annoying practice of giving me dangerous directions verbally but requiring me to have hard copy proof of directives if anything went wrong.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">He undermined all authority other than his own positional authority and especially ignored or attacked experiential authority based solely upon his positional authority with no personal expertise. (Guess I&#39;m trying to say he didn&#39;t know what he was talking about) When he wanders into an area of any depth where his ignorance is sure to be unmasked, he usually states, &quot;That&#39;s just details; we need to look at the big picture.&quot; Of course, it is his big picture, with no basis in the details that provide the foundation and guidance for the contruction of an accurate big picture.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Sigh. The creator of Dilbert REALLY knows what he&#39;s writing about.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Assholes are parasitic bureaucrats who suck the life and enjoyment out of everyone around them and, if left to their own evil devices, will greatly contribute to the erosion of quality and eventual failure of any organization. There is a reason why we shouldn&#39;t allow assholes to appear in public!</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">The only hope for ousting a parasitic bureaucrat, in my opinion, lies in one of the following:</p>
<blockquote>
<p style="text-align: left;">1.&nbsp; Their own lack of a moral compass will eventually beach them on the rocks</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">2.&nbsp; The truth, spoken bravely by employees or stakeholders with some credibility can awaken others to the evil of the parasite</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">3.&nbsp; An impressive list of quality employees who fall on their swords and leave</p>
</blockquote>
<p style="text-align: left;">Sad, isn&#39;t it?</p>
<p>[<strong>EDIT</strong> - Since first writing this post, the administrator above lost his position due to #1 and #2 above.]</p>
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		<title>Office Politics IV – Even Hitler Had a Friend</title>
		<link>http://planforprogress.com/office-politics-iv-even-hitler-had-a-friend/</link>
		<comments>http://planforprogress.com/office-politics-iv-even-hitler-had-a-friend/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Dec 2009 14:42:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>rich</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Office Musings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Office Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hitler]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[office politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[savvy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://planforprogress.com/?p=86</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This fifth article in the series about being politically savvy in the workplace builds upon the foundational insights of the prior four articles: Office Politics I addressed the issue of neutralizing a toxic person at your workplace instead of committing &#8230; <a href="http://planforprogress.com/office-politics-iv-even-hitler-had-a-friend/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="body">
<p>This fifth article in the series about being politically savvy in the workplace builds upon the foundational insights of the prior four articles:</p>
<p>Office Politics I addressed the issue of neutralizing a toxic person at your workplace instead of committing either of the two fatal errors of trying to make them a friend or treating them like an enemy. Instead, we want to neutralize their toxic affect upon the work environment.</p>
<p>Office Politics II showed you how to use public displays of camaraderie to neutralize the &#8220;behind your back&#8221; toxic communications.</p>
<p>Office Politics III suggested you use &#8220;Judo Words&#8221; to change the rules of the engagement, to neutralize your opponent by redirecting their negative attack instead of escalating the problem&#8211;a powerful concept!</p>
<p>Office Politics IV advised you to hesitate before you entered a battle that was not worth waging and to stay neutral in the midst of controversies that are full of drama but signify nothing.</p>
<p>This article looks at another technique for neutralizing a dangerous colleague in the workplace. This technique offers the possibility of once and for all turning that toxic co-worker into someone who no longer has you in their sites. They may never become your best friend but they will have chosen to drop you off the enemy list because of what I&#8217;m suggesting you consider.</p>
<p>Although this is not a very catchy label, I call this approach &#8220;Watch and Sacrifice.</p>
<p><strong>The Watch Part</strong></p>
<p>Everybody messes up! I know i have and I bet you have too. Toxic people are unhappy people. And, try as they might to remain superior to all of their co-workers, they actually mess up a lot for several reasons:</p>
<ul>
<li>They cannot relax and go with the flow so they resist the natural evolution of ideas and projects and often find themselves crosswise with new developments in the workplace</li>
<li>They are often distracted by their problems, which are many, and miss critical details</li>
<li>They do not have friends who warn them of impending danger</li>
<li>They do not have friends who help them develop ideas and add the components that would make their plans golden</li>
</ul>
<p>So, if you&#8217;re watching, you will find them get into a bind. They will need help but the people around them who might rush into offer assistance will suddenly disappear and leave them stranded with their crisis.</p>
<p>Before I expand on the other part of this approach, allow me to tell you how I learned this simple and possibly painful technique for neutralizing a toxic co-worker.</p>
<p><strong>Working for the County</strong></p>
<p>At one point in my multifaceted career, I was a statistician in charge of mass reappraisal of a county with a population of 1.5 million. That translates into a lot of homes and a lot of responsibility. I&#8217;ve always been well liked on any job with the occasional exception of a toxic co-worker who did not like anyone and let their feelings be know&#8211;over and over again. There was one such person at the county and she graciously included me in her broad smear campaign of anyone walking and breathing.</p>
<p>I took it as a challenge. As I thought about her and watched how she related to her colleagues (not with), it was easy to she that she didn&#8217;t have any work friends. You know what work friends are, don&#8217;t you? They don&#8217;t follow you home or go out for a drink after work but you have a good and maybe even warm relationship while at work. She didn&#8217;t have any of those. People related with her no more than they needed to.</p>
<p>As I searched for an approach I could use to neutralize her so she wouldn&#8217;t act so nasty toward me and would quit sniping at me behind my back, I happened to hear someone away from work quote a Bible scripture. The verse was the one where Jesus charged his disciples to &#8220;Watch and pray.&#8221; That stuck with me. But I changed it to &#8220;Watch and Sacrifice.&#8221;</p>
<p>I knew the day would come when the toxic one among us would need help. It didn&#8217;t take long. Sure enough, in the middle of a Friday afternoon while many county workers were slipping away for an early weekend, the watching paid off. I saw our supervisor drop off a mountain of paperwork on her desk and heard him tell her she had to complete it before she left. I heard her complain to a co-worker that today was her son&#8217;s birthday and she had plans for the afternoon and evening. But everyone around her disappeared and left her alone. With her head down and near tears, she would have been a pitiful character except it was very hard to feel any compassion for someone who consistently caused everyone around her a great deal of pain.</p>
<p><strong>The Sacrifice Part</strong></p>
<p>This is the hard part. This is the very hard part.</p>
<p>To return to my story, I casually walked over and asked what was up. She wiped her eyes and explained all the work she had to do and all about her obligation with her son. I volunteered to stay and help her get the work done. She almost fainted. She couldn&#8217;t believe someone would do that for her. You see, people like her know in some deep part of their heart that they don&#8217;t deserve kindness and help because of how they have been treating everyone. And that&#8217;s one of the reasons they act the way they do. So I stayed until six o&#8217;clock or so and helped her finish. She still had most of the evening left and ran off to a birthday outing at a pizza place. I went home to a warmed over dinner.</p>
<p>Now when you think about this, can you imagine how difficult it would be for her to think of me in the same way again or to treat me badly? Difficult, but not likely. And she never did talk against me after that point. We did not become friends and never related beyond acknowledging each other as we passed in the hallway. But she was neutralized through watching and sacrificing.</p>
<p><strong>In Summary</strong></p>
<p>This approach is very difficult to pull off. Every fiber of our being wants to gloat and say, &#8220;Good enough for them.&#8221; But that just reinforces the enmity and does not neutralize the threat to a wholesome workplace climate. If you are like me, you don&#8217;t have the emotional energy to pull this one off very many times so choose your rescues wisely.</p>
<p>Good luck on using this technique and be sure to read the other articles in this series.</p>
</div>
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		<title>Office Politics III – Judo Versus Karate Words</title>
		<link>http://planforprogress.com/office-politics-iii-%e2%80%93-judo-versus-karate-words/</link>
		<comments>http://planforprogress.com/office-politics-iii-%e2%80%93-judo-versus-karate-words/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Dec 2009 14:39:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>rich</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Office Musings]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[words]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[This third article in this series about being politically savvy in the workplace builds upon the foundational insights of the prior two articles. Office Politics I addressed the issue of neutralizing a toxic person at your workplace instead of committing &#8230; <a href="http://planforprogress.com/office-politics-iii-%e2%80%93-judo-versus-karate-words/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="body">
<p>This third article in this series about being politically savvy in the workplace builds upon the foundational insights of the prior two articles.</p>
<p>Office Politics I addressed the issue of neutralizing a toxic person at your workplace instead of committing either of the two fatal errors of trying to make them a friend or treating them like an enemy. Instead, we want to neutralize their toxic effect upon the work environment.</p>
<p>Office Politics II showed you how to use public displays of camaraderie to neutralize &#8220;behind your back&#8221; toxic communications.</p>
<p>This article looks at another technique for neutralizing a dangerous colleague in the workplace.</p>
<p><strong>Judo and Karate</strong></p>
<p>I&#8217;m not very good at either but have had lessons and advanced a ways into the rainbow of belts in both judo and karate. I know enough to really make a dangerous opponent even madder at me than they were before. But I did learn a fundamental difference between the two martial arts.</p>
<p>Karate involves a lot of blocks, punches and hits. Its fundamental nature is one of direct confrontation. An arm is thrown up to strike and block a blow. A kick releases the terrific power of leg muscles directly at a point of contact with the opponent. Again, karate is essentially direct blows.</p>
<p>Judo, on the other hand, uses the forward momentum of the opponent against them. Their charge towards you is gracefully turned into a sweeping curve that redirects their force in another direction and causes them to fall or be off balance. Let&#8217;s look at how this can play out in the almost martial setting of office politics.</p>
<p><strong>Judo Words Instead of Karate Confrontation</strong></p>
<p>We want to learn to use these ideas to avoid direct confrontation with the toxic words of our nastiest colleagues and redirect their forceful communications away and use it against them.</p>
<p>This is an article, not a book, so I&#8217;m going to focus on one practical example of how to apply this concept. Are you ready?</p>
<p>Application: Erase the word &#8220;but&#8221; from your vocabulary and replace it with &#8220;yes.&#8221;</p>
<p>I remember when a co-worker and friend of mine finally figured out I was doing this. An angry customer or co-worker would try to attack me and by the end of the encounter they were agreeing with me and smiling. My friend was amazed and couldn&#8217;t figure out what I was doing for a long time. After one rather heated beginning with the same collegial outcome, he rushed over to me with a big smile on his face.</p>
<p>&#8220;I got you,&#8221; he said. &#8220;You never confronted them with the word &#8216;but&#8217; as I and almost everyone would do in our attempt to defend ourselves. Instead, you said, &#8216;and&#8217; and totally took the wind out of their sails.&#8221;</p>
<p>He was right. After I began my first sentence with &#8220;and,&#8221; I would restate what they had said, reinforcing points I could agree with. As I talked, I would slowly move the conversation to where I wanted it. The force of their anger was redirected, diffused and their attack ended up being used against them.</p>
<p><strong>Why This Works So Well</strong></p>
<p>One of the reasons this works so well is that their mental rehearsal, their planning for this confrontation, has been dependent upon a confrontation. They have planned for karate blows back and forth with them as the bigger and stronger opponent. The switch to a different form (judo instead of karate) throws them off their plan and stops the attack. They literally don&#8217;t know what to do next.</p>
<p>I believe what happens is that they are momentarily stopped and don&#8217;t know what to do or say. At that point of vulnerability, they hear me (or you) agreeing with them. Their awkwardness is relieved by agreeing with me agreeing with them. Therefore, the entire dynamics have changed with one critical difference&#8211;I&#8217;m in control!</p>
<p>There are other judo words. Experiment, find and use them. They are more subtle than karate words but oh, so much more powerful.</p>
<p>This leads us to the next article in this series, &#8220;Even Hitler Needed a Friend.&#8221; You might see this one as a little slimy but sometimes you do what you&#8217;ve got to do.</p>
<p>I hope you enjoyed this tip. Now get out there and do your share of neutralizing the acidity and have fun while you&#8217;re at it.</p>
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		<title>Office Politics II – Use Public Power to Neutralize a Toxic Person</title>
		<link>http://planforprogress.com/office-politics-ii-%e2%80%93-use-public-power-to-neutralize-a-toxic-person/</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Dec 2009 14:38:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>rich</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Office Musings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Office Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bully]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[neutralize]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[office politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[toxic]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[This second article in a series about being politically savvy in the workplace builds upon the foundational insight of neutralizing a toxic person at your workplace instead of committing either of the two fatal errors of trying to make them &#8230; <a href="http://planforprogress.com/office-politics-ii-%e2%80%93-use-public-power-to-neutralize-a-toxic-person/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
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<p>This second article in a series about being politically savvy in the workplace builds upon the foundational insight of neutralizing a toxic person at your workplace instead of committing either of the two fatal errors of trying to make them a friend or treating them like an enemy. Instead, we want to neutralize their toxic affect upon the work environment.</p>
<p><strong>A Short Story</strong></p>
<p>When I was first hired at a large institution that was very political in nature, I learned early on that there was a network of administrative assistants that kept the phone wires hot with gossip. I also quickly learned (through observation and listening) that if one got on the wrong side of the most influential of those assistants, you could expect a lot of problems with the routing of paperwork, having your messages forwarded, getting your call to go through to their bosses, etc. The leaders of this sub rosa network were hyper critical of almost everyone. I could see that if I got on the wrong side of this internal mafia it might be very difficult to turn this around. So, below is what I did to neutralize their toxicity.</p>
<p><strong>The Power of a Public Expression</strong></p>
<p>I listened and studied the network to identify the ringleaders. The work of the institution was carried out in many buildings spread out across a large campus. I discovered that two of the administrative assistants were the most influential. If they liked you, all went very well, indeed. If they did not like you, you paid a hefty price. You get the picture. So I made it a point to make the rounds of the offices of several of the administrative assistants at least once, if not twice, a week. I made very sure to include the two leaders on each trip. I timed it so that I touched base with the two human producers of toxic waste during a time when many co-workers would be hanging out in the office or passing through. I listened and also asked questions to learn what was going on in each of their lives and what was important to them. That was my goal for the first couple of trips. For all subsequent trips, I made sure to inquire about the things but only when their was a decent sized audience there to hear the interchange. Allow me to give you an example and then share about how powerful this is and why it works.</p>
<p><strong>An Example</strong></p>
<p>I remember one administrative assistant&#8217;s six year old was just starting out in T-ball. I listened and mentally made a note about her concerns about her son&#8217;s performance, how much they were looking forward to going to the games, where the games were, their plans to bring treats for the team when it was their turn, etc. I especially made a note that the first game was to be the next Tuesday evening. Guess where I was on Wednesday?</p>
<p>I made it a point to be in that office shortly before noon time when many of my co-workers, including her immediate supervisor, where in the outer office where the toxic assistant was. I made sure I spoke in a respectful, upbeat, and a little bit excited tone as I smiled and asked about how the game went. Of course, she was thrilled with an opportunity to talk about Johnny&#8217;s first time at bat. I followed up with more questions about the game, each one based upon what I had learned earlier about her concerns or things she was looking forward to. Note that all around her heard this interchange.</p>
<p>I continued this pattern with the two toxic administrative assistants for the better part of several months, visiting them at least once a week and always at a time when others would be around. If you haven&#8217;t seen the power of this yet, let me pull back the curtain and explain.</p>
<p><strong>Why This Works So Well</strong></p>
<p>It is the public component of this that gives it its power. Imagine what an observer sees. They see me smiling and excited about something of a personal nature in the assistant&#8217;s life. Surely I know to ask about something personal because she and I have a friendly relationship, one in which she has already been open with me and has included me in her confidence. They see her responding positively to my questions and looking happy with the topic of conversation. Nothing toxic here! As this happens over and over again, it creates an obstacle of a positive public perception of our relationship that makes it difficult for her to sabotage without also making her look like a back stabber. She has unwittingly allied herself with me publicly, over and over again. It becomes much easier for her to release her venom in some other direction.</p>
<p>Hope you enjoyed this tip. Now get out there and do your share of neutralizing the acidity and have fun while you&#8217;re at it.</p>
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<p>This leads us to the next article in this series, &#8220;Even Hitler Needed a Friend.&#8221; I think you will enjoy this somewhat devious but often necessary perspective on how to neutralize a toxic person.</p>
<p>By Richard Porr, Ph.D.</p>
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		<title>Office Politics I – Neutralize, Don’t Make Friends</title>
		<link>http://planforprogress.com/office-politics-i-%e2%80%93-neutralize-don%e2%80%99t-make-friends/</link>
		<comments>http://planforprogress.com/office-politics-i-%e2%80%93-neutralize-don%e2%80%99t-make-friends/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Dec 2009 14:37:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>rich</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Office Musings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Office Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bully]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[neutralize]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[office politics]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://planforprogress.com/82/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This first article in a series about being politically savvy in the workplace lays the foundation with a critical concept: how we position ourselves in relationship to a difficult personality in the workplace. Two Common Errors That Lead to Failure &#8230; <a href="http://planforprogress.com/office-politics-i-%e2%80%93-neutralize-don%e2%80%99t-make-friends/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="body">
<p>This first article in a series about being politically savvy in the workplace lays the foundation with a critical concept: how we position ourselves in relationship to a difficult personality in the workplace.</p>
<p><strong>Two Common Errors That Lead to Failure</strong></p>
<p>When faced with the challenge of a difficult personality in our workplace, we tend to go to one extreme or the other:</p>
<p>1. Error #1 &#8211; we may try to make the person our friend</p>
<p>2. Error #2 &#8211; we see them as an enemy</p>
<p>The truth of the matter is that they may never be a friend. Our attempts to play nice may, in fact, open us up to more abuse as we mistakenly share confidences or leave the impression that we are weak.</p>
<p>Likewise, if we err on the side of labeling them as an enemy, this sets the stage for a combative perspective that escalates the problem.</p>
<p><strong>The Winning Middle</strong></p>
<p>Everyone knows that acid can be destructive. The term that is used to describe the damaging power of an acid is &#8220;caustic.&#8221; I&#8217;m sure you recognize immediately that the same term is sometimes applied to a difficult person. If you remember your high school chemistry, you know you can neutralize an acid by adding the right amount of a base chemical. When the correct amount of a base is added to the acid, the result is usually a gas (that dissipates) and water (which is harmless). That&#8217;s what we want to do to offset the destructive behavior of caustic personalities in the workplace.</p>
<p>If we think of the problem person as a toxic personality, then what we need is an approach that neutralizes their poison. We need to neutralize, not make them a friend or fight with them as an enemy. We tend to think either-or instead of other options so this takes a bit of mental discipline to retrain your thinking away from the extremes of being a friend or an enemy. We just want to shut down their destructive behavior toward us&#8211;to neutralize them.</p>
<p><strong>Strategies to Neutralize Toxic Behaviors</strong></p>
<p>In the articles that follow we&#8217;ll look at specific strategies for neutralizing a toxic person&#8217;s bad behaviors. But for now, begin to examine the specific behaviors of a toxic co-worker and think about how you could offset it with a specific strategy.</p>
<p>Some of the strategies we will be examining can have an effect relatively quickly while others will take time. Patience is necessary to gain politically savvy skills so hang in there.</p>
<p>by Richard Porr, PhD</p>
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