Office Politics II - Use Public Power to Neutralize a Toxic Person
This second article in a series about being politically savvy in the workplace builds upon the foundational insight of neutralizing a toxic person at your workplace instead of committing either of the two fatal errors of trying to make them a friend or treating them like an enemy. Instead, we want to neutralize their toxic affect upon the work environment.
A Short Story
When I was first hired at a large institution that was very political in nature, I learned early on that there was a network of administrative assistants that kept the phone wires hot with gossip. I also quickly learned (through observation and listening) that if one got on the wrong side of the most influential of those assistants, you could expect a lot of problems with the routing of paperwork, having your messages forwarded, getting your call to go through to their bosses, etc. The leaders of this sub rosa network were hyper critical of almost everyone. I could see that if I got on the wrong side of this internal mafia it might be very difficult to turn this around. So, below is what I did to neutralize their toxicity.
The Power of a Public Expression
I listened and studied the network to identify the ringleaders. The work of the institution was carried out in many buildings spread out across a large campus. I discovered that two of the administrative assistants were the most influential. If they liked you, all went very well, indeed. If they did not like you, you paid a hefty price. You get the picture. So I made it a point to make the rounds of the offices of several of the administrative assistants at least once, if not twice, a week. I made very sure to include the two leaders on each trip. I timed it so that I touched base with the two human producers of toxic waste during a time when many co-workers would be hanging out in the office or passing through. I listened and also asked questions to learn what was going on in each of their lives and what was important to them. That was my goal for the first couple of trips. For all subsequent trips, I made sure to inquire about the things but only when their was a decent sized audience there to hear the interchange. Allow me to give you an example and then share about how powerful this is and why it works.
An Example
I remember one administrative assistant’s six year old was just starting out in T-ball. I listened and mentally made a note about her concerns about her son’s performance, how much they were looking forward to going to the games, where the games were, their plans to bring treats for the team when it was their turn, etc. I especially made a note that the first game was to be the next Tuesday evening. Guess where I was on Wednesday?
I made it a point to be in that office shortly before noon time when many of my co-workers, including her immediate supervisor, where in the outer office where the toxic assistant was. I made sure I spoke in a respectful, upbeat, and a little bit excited tone as I smiled and asked about how the game went. Of course, she was thrilled with an opportunity to talk about Johnny’s first time at bat. I followed up with more questions about the game, each one based upon what I had learned earlier about her concerns or things she was looking forward to. Note that all around her heard this interchange.
I continued this pattern with the two toxic administrative assistants for the better part of several months, visiting them at least once a week and always at a time when others would be around. If you haven’t seen the power of this yet, let me pull back the curtain and explain.
Why This Works So Well
It is the public component of this that gives it its power. Imagine what an observer sees. They see me smiling and excited about something of a personal nature in the assistant’s life. Surely I know to ask about something personal because she and I have a friendly relationship, one in which she has already been open with me and has included me in her confidence. They see her responding positively to my questions and looking happy with the topic of conversation. Nothing toxic here! As this happens over and over again, it creates an obstacle of a positive public perception of our relationship that makes it difficult for her to sabotage without also making her look like a back stabber. She has unwittingly allied herself with me publicly, over and over again. It becomes much easier for her to release her venom in some other direction.
Hope you enjoyed this tip. Now get out there and do your share of neutralizing the acidity and have fun while you’re at it.
This leads us to the next article in this series, “Even Hitler Needed a Friend.” I think you will enjoy this somewhat devious but often necessary perspective on how to neutralize a toxic person.
By Richard Porr, Ph.D.